6

I just attempted to write ‘instead’ for about 7 minutes, and wrote ‘sin’ at the start every single time. Weird. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? I keep thinking there are heaps of people in dad’s backyard, but I’m just seeing the washing fluttering in the wind. I’m on my fourth coffee of the day, which is alright really, seeing as it’s a bit past five. But I drank almost half a litre of Red Bull before, so I suppose that cancels out any of the coffees that I forwent earlier. But then again, I’ve only been awake for five hours. Those five hours have gone really quite quickly too, unfortunately for me, as I’ve instead of completing the 4000 words I was meant to, I’ve written on this, and attempted to roll a cigarette with dad’s friend’s tobacco and papers (I’m not even going to talk about that experience because it’s just embarrassing – fuck him for not smoking normal ones that are simple and normal and all you have to do is light them), and drank tonnes of liquids (e.g. coffee and energy drinks) and fantasised a little bit about someone, and put on my red beret, and walked around the house, and written 600 words (which is good, but not as good as 4000), and written depressing, shit poetry, and opened the pantry and closed it again because I remembered I’m on a diet, and fantasised a little more, and mentally slapped myself for fantasising, and listened to way too much French jazz, and procrastinated. I think I’m going to be wired forever, I’m actually buzzing THAT MUCH!!