Ooh, I put on my shoes and I’m ready for the weekend

That’s a lie, I am so not liking this weekend. It’s Saturday, and already I’ve experienced loss, pain and euphoria. Oh, and a smidgen of depression. And that was all last night. Except for the euphoria. That bit was also a lie. I have an infected mosquito bite on my arm, and on my cheek. And unfortunately it’s a really beautiful day. Why does the weather get nice, as soon as I feel like it should be raining, constantly? How ironic. Actually, there’s nothing to report. I have a really boring life. Apart from dad having a marijuana crop in his back shed. I will now proceed to complain about all the things in my life that are shit.

My hair is not behaving, so it’s in a massive bun on top of my head (outcome: I look like a twat), and I have an infected mosquito bite on my cheek. It’s way worse than the one on my arm. I woke up this morning, and it was so itchy, so I itched it. Outcome: now it’s massive and red.

Thursday night I got really drunk, thought about walking home from F’s house, decided against it (even though it’s probably only about 50 metres away). Outcome: yesterday I had the worst hangover ever, at school. It was hell. And last night I was really shitty. Outcome: for some ridiculous reason, I bawled for about two hours. And that’s not even an exaggeration.

I want to go shopping, but I only have $50 to last me until Thursday, but I’m really supposed to be paying my phone bill, which I owe an extra 72 on. Outcome: I have no phone access until I’ve paid it off. Shite. But not having a phone for... 19 days, is actually quite refreshing. Really fucking annoying, but good. Outcome (positive): I don’t send pointless text messages now, like the stupid ones I found in my drafts, drunken ones, which I’ve saved because my phone’s been cut off (because I enjoy being reminded of embarrassing things I’ve written whilst intoxicated). Things like: ‘tgis ir shnply shit’ (translation: ‘this is simply shit’) , and ‘in sooo jealous, i want to but out my own eyebals’ (translation: i’m so jealous, i want to cut out my own eyeballs’ I had my phone on dictionary for this one), etc. Not sure what I was talking about in either of those messages, but eh, whatever. I also found another one saying ‘I’m sorry’ (surprisingly spelt right), with my whole entire phonebook selected as the recipients. Obviously I have collective guilt. Not sure what that means, but probably not the guilt bit, seeing as I can’t seem to feel any kind of emotion that requires a conscience.

Anyway, some good things (with possible downsides) are:
I haven’t had a cigarette for a week and about 12 hours. Since last Friday night. Even though I really want one, right now, and also have been having cravings for most of the time during the past week. And I have no money to buy some more, besides, C has my packet in his underpants drawer. Remind me to get them off him. Downside: I am experiencing crippling cravings. Upside: How good is my alliteration?!

Its only 20 past 3, so I have time to walk down to the shops and buy things. Preferably not food, as I’ve decided to become an anorexic. Downside: loss of money and being hungry forever.

I have a lock on my door, as I am at father bear’s house this weekend, which basically gives me permission to do naughty things in my room that I would otherwise refrain from doing if I didn’t have a lock. Downside: I share a room with my brother.

I have extra time to write my history essay, which is now 799 words. Downside: most of the 799 words is either a) dot points or b) stuff off the internet. c) it is meant to be finished and emailed to my teacher by Sunday night. Which is tomorrow. I really don’t think I’m going to get it done.

I may possibly have either bipolar, or a narcissistic personality. Or both. Downside: is there a downside? If I have bipolar, I get legally prescribed medication, and if I have narcissism, then, well, I just have a huge ego. Why is that a disorder? I think that's pretty awesome actually. Apart from I heard a story about an actual real narcissist, who used to wank in front of a mirror. Not sure if I'd go that far..

Fuck this, I’m going shopping.