we're in a mess babe

I just wandered around my room for almost an hour, in nothing but undies, with a feather stuck into my hair, and a massive turquoise necklace on. I fancied myself a little bit of an amazonian princess. But then mum spoiled the moment by walking in (it was slightly awkward until I put a top on), and having a go at me about all this homework I should've done, that I really really haven't. Speaking of which, I have an essay on Hamlet due on monday, that I've only written about 80 words on. And I got up at 11 to actually DO homework too. My life is such a failure. And something smells like it's burning.

The other night I had a dream that I met frankmusik and had sex with him. I honestly have such strange dreams. I swear there was a tiger or something involved in the dream too..

I'm so confused right now, as of this whole entire week. It's been really really shit from about tuesday till now, and as I've been really emotional from then (probably obvious what that means), and am going out tonight, I unfortunately cannot make the most of.. well anything really. And shit, I just realised my undies are on inside out. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA. I think I may be manic-depressive. I seem to swing from really happy to really sad in, literally, a matter of seconds. But back to my confusion (which, by the by may have something to do with my disorder??), everything is not really going well. And although something sortof did work itself out, I still so don't even get how it's sorted itself out. See, I'm not even making sense right now. And I just realised what the burning smell was. It was my straightner, that has been sitting on my quilt ever since I turned it on, about 40 minutes ago. I really honestly think there's something wrong with me.

Meanwhile, I've still got the feather in my hair, and I desperately need to finish my Hamlet essay, as I'm going out later, and working tomorrow. I also need to figure out what I'm wearing. And I lost my shoes that I really wanted to wear tonight. I seriously have no idea where they are.

Wish I could roll cigarettes, and that I had longer hair, and that we had a freaking mirror in the bathroom. Also that I had money to pay my phone bill (that is now approaching 300 dollars, and also to buy new shoes and things, and my polaroid film that's been waiting at the camera shop since I ordered it 3 weeks ago because I don't have enough money to buy it with hahahha), and more time to do my homework in. Ugh, life is way too hard.

Listening to The Smiths (as usual), and So Frenchy So Chic albums (which I listen to when dejected, but only the depressing ones). Found lots of pictures of beautiful women before. On top of everything else, I'm now going to have to deal with the mayhem that probably comes with not knowing if you're actually a lesbian or not. (I'm going to say I'm probably not, I just like beautiful women.. maybe it's penis envy?? Or maybe I'm in denial.)