so,

I've been thinking a lot recently. about life, and what kind of person i am.

like, what do other people see when they look at me?

i honestly have no clue.

i'd like to be someone who people look at and think 'she looks lovely'.

i drank cider and watched the tallest man on earth perform yesterday afternoon. the light. oh that light. greeny-yellow, filtering through dark grey clouds. i sat on a shawl wearing my new green dress and mouthed along to his beautiful words.

i'm a bit melancholy at the moment. it's strange, i feel like it's a kind of deep sadness that i can use and take in to make myself a better person.

lost love has also been occupying my thoughts.

what if i never meet someone who connects to me as well as he did? what if i do? will i forget him? what does that make me? was it really as important as i thought at the time? can't i just take the piss out of myself please? that usually makes me feel less lost.

i owe some photos from my recent holiday. i promise they're on their way!