boganasaurus-rex

Mum has taken to calling me a bogan if she doesn't like what I'm wearing. Ok, to tell the truth, she only called me a bogan about three times before I told her off (quite severely I must add). I'd prefer to call it grunge but whatever, that's not the point. The point is - why does being called a bogan piss me off so much? I suppose there are a number of factors why this could hurt my feelings..

1. We unfortunately live in a 'stereotypically bogan town'. Ok just to clarify - I went to a private school, have a very middle-class background, and middle-class friends. Why then, when it is obvious that i am not, in fact, a 'bogan', does this term have such an effect?

2. I have tattoos. Which Mum hates by the way. For good reason - I probably wouldn't appreciate my children going out on their 18th birthday and spending inordinate amounts of money on a TINY and I repeat TINY tattoo. Not so much the bogan factor as the money factor - one of them is literally 2.5cms across and cost more than a regular night out. I think she just relates tattoos to the working-class and disadvantaged. Which sucks because it makes her seem prejudiced. Believe you me, she is one of the least judgemental (apart from judging me of course - just goes with the territory of being a parent I think - Dad does it too), people I have ever come across.

3. The main one I think is the stereotype of a 'bogan' being uneducated. And this hits hard to me - I didn't do at all well in the final year of school. I was waaaay too occupied with warring friendship groups, and falling in love with someone who was definitely wrong for me. And my parents were very disappointed in this - they consider me to be an 'intellectual' person and therefore I should have motivation, drive and should want to do well. I DO want to do well, don't get me wrong! I just don't want to do well because someone tells me I should. Ok, I don't want to blow my own horn/whistle/trumpet?, but I do have some things I consider myself talented at - writing for example (what, you say it doesn't show? screw you!), and music. Music is definitely a passion of mine. I am also one of those people who wants to find something they love doing (and not destroy my love of it) before studying it and laying down the next 3 or 4 years of their life to school. Ok this sounds a lot like I might in fact be a lazy shit who just doesn't want to commit to anything. This may or may not also be true.. But either way, I do have drive, I have applied for a writing course, and am thinking about applying for a fashion course as well. I don't really know, at what point does being uneducated make someone a bogan?

4. Ok this is really important too. Mum works at a Rehab Clinic - and she comes across hard, disadvantaged, sad people all the time. Due to her particularly sensitive nature, I think the general atmosphere and mood of the place gets to her a lot more than she lets on. It also gets to the way she relates to me as a binge-drinking 'almost-adult' who has a particular penchant for going out and getting shit-faced. Well I actually don't do this as much as I used to - so I guess I'm speaking more from my past experiences than present ones. One thing that happens as you grow up is you become more in tune with the general state of your body. Ok I'm sounding like a middle-aged bore right now, but just hear me out! Due to having anxiety and depression in the family, I have a much higher chance of developing these as I grow up - and after drinking heavily, and I mean heavily as a young adolescent, the risk has obviously increased. Which obviously sucks. But recently, I've noticed that the day after a drinking session (and no I don't go as hard as I used to), I get really down. Mum thinks that due to this I am a) an almost-alcoholic and b) very depressive. The real reason is because I'm desperately hungover, and due to alcohol being a 'depressant' as it were, my body and/or mind are suffering horrendously anyway. But the point of that was that I really rarely drink anymore. Grandma you say? Never! I don't knit for a start. (Ok, only scarves. And hats. Never a jumper. Well, so far. Who knows what will happen in the future. Maybe crochet!)

I think the general gist of this is that I am just as prejudiced as anyone. Because one of my greatest fears is being labelled a 'bogan' - namely disadvantaged, alcoholic, depressive and without any sense of style (ok these are all horrible stereotypes, forgive me), I think I need to work on a better ideal. And that is being more accepting.

I'm not sure if this cleared up anything actually. Uhh was there any point to this? Nope! Have a nice day xxxxxxxxxxx